Vacilando.

Everybody tells me I'm going places; I am a smart man with a bright future, after all, and in college to boot! Where else could I be going but places. I've some vague idea of where these places are supposed to be, I suppose. My financial aid check seems to have a map to the suburbs scrawled on the back, with a shopping list of "MAKE SOME MONEY, EGGS, KIDS?? -- honestly, I haven't given it much thought.

I feel pretty out of place sometimes in a very goal-driven society, to be honest. Sure, I want to make a decent wage, do a job that doesn't suck, and KIDS?? sounds sort of interesting so long as we can leave those double question marks next to it, and... yeah, it's nice, I guess. Do I really have to be all on task and making good grades in my Geography class to pull it? Do I have to hang out in this little town for another couple years?

Man, that's boring.

I'm more into the goals than getting to them, I think. It's fun, you know, that rush of motivation when you're first trying out something new, nevermind the whole bit where you get to tell everyone "ah, yes, here soon I'll be rich, guys, I'm going to be saving babies/curing some kind of disease/doing something terribly impressive and selfless that involves getting rich. But you know, once the new car smell wears off, you're still just pulling an all-nighter trip to wherever and no matter how many times you go over the map you're about two to three years behind schedule getting there. I'd rather keep switching directions, get all excited about how I'm off to see the goal-driven equivalent of the world's biggest ear of corn, and take the next off-ramp away from all that when the idea gets old.

Funny thing is, if you aren't going anywhere, then you aren't going anywhere. Makes me twice as restless when I see I'm still in the same job I've had for two years, taking the same boring classes no matter how often I decide to pursue some bold new career path, in the same little town most of my friends have moved on from. But man, it doesn't stop it, and I still get that rush when I get all geared up to turn around and go off that-a-way.

That's vacilando, I suppose.